This past year has been one of extreme circumstantial difficulty. Such seasons always lend themselves to growth; either you allow yourself to grow cold and hard-hearted, or you seek truth and grow to be more Christ-like. I’m so thankful to say that I’ve kept myself rooted in the word (the Bible) and God has revealed more of Himself to me than ever before.
This actually brings me to tears, you guys. I’ve been seeking wisdom and guidance from God and he has lovingly granted my requests.
Because this year (and especially this fall) have been such a whirlwind, let me catch you up on 2017 real quick:
- Starting the year, my body almost burst at the seams with inflammation and we sought answers for my huge Lupus flare. I began to be completely physically and mentally immobilized. It got so bad that there were times I didn’t think I could continue.
- In February, I found out that I was allergic to fourteen foods and the next day I cut them all out.
- In March, I took a chronic infections test and found out that I had eight chronic infections including hospital superbugs and borrelia.
- In April, I followed up the borrelia results with a T-cell test showing that I had an active Lyme Disease infection. I started treatment for Lyme Disease.
- In May, my two year old (Brooklyn) tested positive for a (much more severe) active Lyme infection. I also started a candida diet which lead into a ketogenic diet.
- In June, my seven month old (Caleb) tested positive for an active Lyme infection.
- In July I tackled SIBO (small intestinal bacterial overgrowth) and brought the kids to live with my parents while Zach did a major home renovation. I walked alongside my Dad as he was treated with radium and chemotherapy for cancer.
- In August, the kids and I did our first round of oral antibiotics.
- In September, Zach and I took the kids on a little vacation and it knocked me back quite a bit. My Dad was hospitalized.
- In October, I did a round of IV antibiotics and I felt much worse before becoming a bit more clear-headed. My Dad just about died in the hospital and we brought him home.
- In November, I went back to work part time (part time medical leave) and this has been very difficult on my body. My Dad improved after Naturopathic home care and then passed away in his sleep at the end of the month.
- In December, the grief derailed my body and I really struggled to keep my body physically calm.
- In total this year, I had 133 medical appointments and this required so much of my time and energy. I have still not been able to properly exercise because when I do, the inflammation flares. I have been quite strict with my diet, medications, and sleep to try to do everything I can to take good care of myself.
I don’t know why God is allowing these things to happen, but it is obvious that in this journey, my trust in the Lord is growing and I’m being sanctified. I am learning more deeply about the character of God and abiding in His grace. There’s a song by Matt Redman that has the lyrics “when I am in the storm, Lord the storm is not in me” and I am overwhelmed with praise and thankfulness that my foundation on Christ has allowed me to stay not just spiritually strong, but joyful through these horrible circumstances.
If my hope was in my health, I would be crushed right now. To have your reality so far from your expectations is not an easy thing to wrestle through. But I’m not crushed, I’m not scared, and I’m not even feeling like life isn’t fair.
This life is so much more than our day to day. The enemy brought sin into this world and there is spiritual attack, but what was intended for evil, God uses for good (Gen 50:20)! I will continue to bring God glory through my circumstances and praise Him for the opportunity to do so. And at the same time, I will continue to pray for physical healing on this earth so that God can be glorified in it.
God hears your prayers! He hears the groans of your heart and he responds! He responded with Jesus who sacrificed Himself for all of us when all our sins were future. He took our burden and we can rest in the grace of our loving Father. Now we can look forward to an eternity where in the presence of God we are free from sickness, death, and all sadness!
Where are you putting your hope this year? Hope in anything other than Jesus will let you down.
May we seek the healer over the healing.
May we seek the comforter over the comforting.
May we seek the deliverer over the delivering.
2 Corinthians 1:3-9 (The Message version):
“All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us. We have plenty of hard times that come from following the Messiah, but no more so than the good times of his healing comfort - we get a full measure of that too.
When we suffer for Jesus, it works out for your healing and salvation. If we are treated well, given a helping hand and encouraging word, that also works for your benefit, spurring you on, face forward, unflinching. Your hard times are also our hard times. When we see that you’re just as willing to endure the hard times as to enjoy the good times, we know you’re going to make it, no doubt about it.
We don’t want you in the dark friends, about how hard it was when all this came down on us in Asia province. It was so bad we didn’t think we were going to make it. We felt like we’d been sent to death row, that it was all over for us. As it turned out, it was the best thing that could have happened. Instead of us trusting in our own strength or wits to get us out of it, we were forced to trust God totally - not a bad idea since he’s the God who raises the dead! And he did it, rescued us from certain doom. And he’ll do it again, rescuing us as many times as we need rescuing. You and your prayer are part of the rescue operation - I don’t want you in the dark about that either. I can see your faces even now, lifted in praise for God’s deliverance of us, a rescue in which your prayers played such a crucial part.”
We are here to comfort, encourage, and guide one another through our different seasons of life. Thank you for journeying with me through this! Thank you for your prayers and reminders of truth! I can’t wait to see what growth God has in store for all of us this year. Much love!